After yesterday’s amazing service, I’ve been reminded of several things I had forgotten. The first being fasting; it’s been a bit since I have fasted, and, I’m ashamed to admit, it’s because of the problems I have been facing.
I’ve also been reminded of a prayer I made a year ago. A very important prayer that I realize now I’ve gone back on. Everything I’m facing right now is of my own making, because I didn’t trust YHWH enough; even though I THOUGHT I did, and I THOUGHT I was following what He said.
Yet I forgot the prayer. In that prayer I gave Him my husband, I knew I couldn’t do what he needed. Only YHWH could, all I could do was love him through it. BUT, I got in His way every chance I could! Not on purpose, not in malice, but because I truly didn’t trust Him.
I have hit my face and repented for this since yesterday. I’ve cried my eyes out over knowing how much hurt and pain I’ve dealt not only me and my husband, but my Father. He’s been here waiting for me to step back, and I just kept getting in the way of our blessing!
My husband wants so bad to leave, and now I do to. He’s not talking divorce, just leaving, and to be honest I got excited. Which stunned me for a moment, because I was excited FOR him to leave, I just didn’t know why?
Until a piece of a dream came back a few moments ago. My husband sitting at a table on a covered porch with someone holding or sitting very close to an old oil lamp. I was standing there watching with a smile before the dream changed. I had that dream before I joined Remnant House...
I remember every detail of that dream, but haven’t thought about it until today. I truly think YHWH has my husband, and if He removes him from my life there’s a great reason! For now though, I’m working on my relationship with YHWH, He is my priority and my main love; always has been. And I thought I knew what faith and trust were.....but I let Him down
Forgive me for being unfaithful (and long winded), but I’m finally back to truly listening and doing what our Father says.
I seen glimpses of the man I fell in love with more and more, so I wrestled the reins out of YHWH’s hands because I was too impatient. Now I get to learn patience...and beg forgiveness. Thank y’all for the prayers and love, I’m sending prayers and lots of love to you too ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️