Translate   9 months ago

Today was a very emotional and strange day. I had to sign the paperwork to dissolve my almost 30 year marriage. The strange thing was, I had been nervous and honestly a bit scared when he came to pick me up to sign them.

But after it was over...I didn’t feel anything like I thought! I wasn’t crying and angry or even hurt. My first thought was to come home and read my CEPHER that I downloaded on my phone! For some reason I wanted to read Esther and Hadaccah the additions to Esther. But before I could read, I got the sweetest message from my soooooo loved sister Tera. It was exactly what I neededj

Plus I felt lighter, even though my heart is broken and I still love my ex husband just as I did the day I married him. I don’t know why I feel excited and heartbroken at the same time, but I realize now that truly trusting YHWH is more freeing than I ever imagined.

This is almost like He freed me, to BE me. I no longer have to fill my ex husbands role as head of the house because he didn’t want to do it. That role never fit me right anyway. Plus he didn’t divorce me because he didn’t love me, or didn’t care about me. He did it because of the rage and anger in him; he couldn’t stop it from coming out at me.

But now he’s excited to step into that head of house role, and he’s made a huge change. So I’m praying that whatever he’s struggling with that he can overcome it. I’m not worried about the future, nor am I scared....all I know is that Yahuha will use me and put me where He needs/wants me ♥️